Oh. C.

Another season finale last night. i'm afraid it wasn't as entertaining as the bachelor, but really, nothing could be. That thing set the standard for years to come. It was the O.C's turn and man, what a horrible, horrible season. I don't think I've ever consistently watched a more flawed show since the second season of Temptation Island. But you know? More often than not, Temptation Island delivered the goods, and it didn't have Mischa Barton.

Seriously, this season of the OC sucked ass. And when you think about it, really the 1st 6 episodes of the series were great, and then came Oliver. You remember Oliver, don't you? He met Mischa at her psychiatrist, befriended her, and then somehow made it so Luke was a good guy, and then Oliver became fatally attracted to her and ended up in his penthouse hotel room with a gun to his head. Fuck that was horrible. And things haven't improved since. Well, I can't go that far. I kinda liked the sister, and always liked Tate, I liked Theresa except when she opened her mouth (on a side note, poor Theresa has that kinda voice where it makes it impossible for her to be a good actress. It's Keanu syndrome, or Brad Pitt syndrome, or Drew Barrymore syndrome, whatever. It's that voice that always sounds stiff and clunky and not real at all. Which I excused, until I saw her on Project Greenlight and saw that she thinks she's the shit so now I hate her.)

But the real disaster of the show came with the first episode of this season. You remember it, I'm sure. Theresa was pregnant, Ryan was dutifully working at the saw mill, or laying brick or whatever people in Chino do for money, and Seth was in Portland with Luke (he's a good guy now!). Okay, first of all, the whole 1st season was about how Seth was in love with summer and he was a dork so he couldn't get her, and then he finally gets her and then his best friend moves to Chino (which is, oh, about a half hour drive away) so he gets on a boat and leaves Summer, the girl he's been wanting his whole life, and the girl he named his boat after. First of all, bullshit. Second of all, I was still on board. Until...Theresa called Ryan and was all, "the baby died." and he's like, "really?" and she's all, "yeah". and then he hung up the phone and looked to Seth and went, "Sweet! I'm moving back to Newport! My baby's dead!" What the fuck? He was bummed about that for all of 2 seconds, and, wouldn't he, i don't know, swing by her place now and again to see if she was all right? It was literally, blink of an eye, the baby's dead I'm moving to Newport. That's one of the huge problems of the show, they wrap some things up too quickly, and let stupid stuff play on for a long ass time. But of course, I was still on board.

Why was I still on board? Well, it's not fair. If you stick attractive teens in a sunny locale with a large body of water nearby, I'm in. That's all I need to hear, i will watch. no matter what. It sucks! It's a disease, it's Dawsononucleosis. I'm not exactly sure how I caught the disease, but it probably has to do with my uneventful, No SummerKelly Taylor/Joey Potter getting youth. Okay, that's too sad to talk about, let's move on.

So, the finale. Introduce a gun in the first act, it's killing someone in the fourth act. That's simple geometry folks. We've all seen it a thousand times. I was just hoping it was going to be Mischa to get the bullet, right in her "look my eyes are rolling so that means i'm acting" face. But it wasn't. But to the writer's credit, they seemed to put out a mandate: Less talky for mischa". good mandate. i guess they've pushed themselves into a corner at this point. now the season has to end with someone getting killed. wait, this is a high school, teen drama/soap opera, right? why did it get to the point where someone must die. ridiculous. dawson's season 1 ended with him and joey's first kiss. a 90210 season ended with Kelly choosing "herself". and guess what? I loved that shit! we all did. we don't need death and extraordinary shit, we need some good writing so we're invested in the relationships so the cliffhanger's revolve around that. and that, is the biggest fuck up of all. summer and seth. they ruined them. with all this zack bullshit, and breakups to makeups that made no sense. really, who cares anymore? i don't. ever since he chose luke over her, i was over it, because they had me going with the whole "he loves summer so much he named a boat after her and that's all he wants" thing and then said, "oh, you know what, he loves ryan more. she wasn't that important to him". well fuck you! that's why i was watching the show!

sorry, i'll calm down. as for the actual show - the alcoholism thing, fine, caleb dying, fine, tate coming back, good! ryan and mischa, stop it. seth and summer, actually not bad, but it wasn't about them (or ryan and mischa) and it should've been. the show should've built to that. instead we've got drug deals and funerals, i thought i was watching the sopranos at one point. sopranos except for all the good acting and writing and interestingness.

But even though it was so bad this year, I still find myself wishing that Ryan would get a job at the Beverly Hills Beach Club, but i guess i'll have to spend the summer, you know, working. damn. I guess i just have to turn over to Soapnet and relive the glory days with brandon.