"Edgy"

As some of you may know, there's a big lawsuit going on right now where a writer's assistant from Friends is suing for sexual harrassment and other stuff because of the things the writers would talk about in front of her. Her written complaint, which can be found on the Smoking Gun, is quite hilarious because evidently the Friends writers had a fun time making fun of how dried up Courtney Cox's vagina was.

But anyway, this lawsuit has been going on a long time now and it's of note because it's completely BULLSHIT. When you are trying to write comedy, you have to have a free environment in which to toss around ideas. There should be no restrictions on that, because it is the very nature of comedy to push the envelope and be offensive, etc. And it looks like this idiot is going to lose so...yey!

Now rumor has it that I'm actually a comedy writer, but this is yet to be verified. I am now sharing my office with a very funny lady comedy writer, and we spend our days tossing around ideas and many of them might be offensive to some people. But unlike most comedy writers (i think), this girl and I often hear what we are saying in our head and laugh at ourselves for thinking of such retarded shit. We're hilarious with a heart, people.

So anyway, in the spirit of that, here are some samples of things you might have heard had you walked by our office at the wrong time the past couple days:

Me: so the blow job thing is out, right?
Her: right, we can’t do the blow job thing. We need a different reveal.
Me: oh! I got it! How about if he says the line and then we reveal that his legs are up in stirrups, and there’s a doctor there, and he’s having an abortion!
She nods.
Her: yeah, that’s pretty good.
Me: but if we can’t do that, then we can always just have the doctor there and he looks up to him and says “you have a lovely vagina”.

Her: how can we get rid of the girl?
Me: um, how about if he fucks her to death?
Her: i don't know if that's mean enough. how about it he shoots her. in the face. With a gun.
Me: nice…you’re going to woman hell, you know that don’t you?
Her (sadly): I know.

Her: I don’t feel like black is strong enough. It feels like we’re being pussies.
Me: what do you mean?
Her: well, we’ve got beaners, and then crackers, and then blacks. Shouldn’t it be another derogatory word?
Me: maybe we can find a word besides the n word.
Her: okay.
Me: blacky?
Her: darky?
Me: coon?
Her: this is tough.
Me: I think it’s actually okay though.
Her: you think?
Me: yeah, because in the sentence it’s “the black”. Not just black. And I’ve always found when you put the word “the” in there before the word black, it’s kinda meaner. For example, “you know who lives around here? The blacks.”
A BEAT
Her: I like darky better.