We had to pitch jokes on one of our sketches today and one particular line captured my attention and I had a little fun with it. So here are my joke pitches for this line in the script:
YOU'RE AS USELESS AS...
Star Jones vagina
Paris Hilton's talking hole
Whitney Houston's sponsor
Tom Cruise on a honeymoon
Anna Nicole Smith at a spelling bee
Heather Graham on a sitcom
A glory hole in Rosie O'Donnell's bathroom
Ashlee Simpson's microphone
Clay Aiken in a whorehouse
Lindsay Lohan's dinner
Britney Spears personal trainer
Kevin Federline's life
Mischa Barton on a soundstage
Mischa Barton on location
Mischa Barton at the Emmy's
25 comments:
Lockjaw at a sucker's picnic
Tits on bull.
Youre as Useless as...
a snooze button on a smoke alarm
a cat flap in an elephant house
a Chocolate Kettle
an echo in a coffin
a drummer in anne frank's house
girls in a gay bar.
cheese in a cracker factory.
sun light in a dark room.
live flesh on a zomble.
happy stickers on emo children.
Andy dick using mouth wash to get the stale taste of pubes and asian cock out of his mouth.
Obama at a press conference......!
sandals on an amputee
a resume' on a hobo
a one legged man at an ass kicking party
an ashtray on a mototcycle...
2 dead flies squashed
helen keller's booklight.
A White Crayon...
midget with a yo-yo
pants on a hooker
a one legged man doing the hokie cokie
a football bat
pants on a tollbooth worker
an asthmatic hairdryer
Screen door on a submarine
Chainsaw in the.dessert
Decaf coffee!
a red light in grand theft auto
As useful as Tits On A Snake
as useless as piss in the wind
Hellen Keller's drumset
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