I Don't Get It

About 6 years ago, I was watching the American Music Awards and they had a correspondent who was doing interviews backstage. He was out of control. He had way too much energy, and when he would talk to black people he would use a black voice and say things like "My man!!!". It was so painful that when he would come on the screen I would turn the channel because I was so uncomfortable. This guy made Billy Bush look like Tom Brokaw.

And then about a year after that, I saw him on TV as a cohost of a new show. A new, terrible show. A show that had Coke commercials worked into it and was essentially a karaoke jam. It was such a stupid contest that Justin Guarini could finish second in it. And no, the guy I was talking about from the American Music Awards wasn't Bryan Dunkleman, it was Ryan Seacrest. And the show of course, American Idol, is the biggest thing since Kelly Clarkson's head.

I don't get it.

Am I the idiot? Maybe. Maybe not. But let's look at the facts. Besides the unbelievable cheesiness - I literally have never seen a show that tries this hard NOT to be cool - check out the results (and this is based on what I've heard because I haven't really watched the show since season 2): Clay Aiken. Really? He's an American Idol? Rueben Studdard. The only time I hear about this guy is when a late night talk show host wants to make a fat joke. Fantasia Barrino. I sort of know the name, but I don't even know who this person is. She's a girl, right? Um, Bo Bice, Carrie Underwood. An argument against these people being idols isn't really necessary. So what the hell is all the fuss about? Do you people enjoy watching these idiots sing that much? Are "theme nights" really what TV was missing?

I know what you're saying: "But Kelly Clarkson...". Yes, Kelly Clarkson has a career. And she's a good singer. Fine, I'll give you that one. 1 out of 5, that's worse than the "Bachelor" percentage yet I don't hear anyone complaining like they do about that show! But really, Kelly just somehow managed to get herself into the position where the best producers and songwriters are giving her their songs. All she's doing is singing the songs Britney would be singing if she hadn't gone bat shit crazy.

And then there's this season. In what universe is that gray haired dude more of an "idol" then the large breasted LA girl? Don't we already have a Michael McDonald? And wasn't Michael McDonald the running joke of "40 Year Old Virgin"? This show should be taught in history classes, because it just explained why our founding fathers invented the electoral college! You truly cannot trust the masses with these decisions. Speaks a lot for our president doesn't it? America should not be trusted with this stuff. I think we should just go back to the way things used to be and let Lou Pearlman pick our idols...and our presidents.

I am not hating on this show, I am just truly confused. You see, I like to try and figure out what makes shit popular. But I guess there is no logic to it. That's why "According to Jim" is going into it's 7th season. Sometimes America doesn't like cool shows, if it did, "Arrested Development" would be in it's 7th season and Jim Belushi would be on "Celebrity Fit Club" hosted by Ryan Seacrest. My man!!!