I Don't Like Cartoons

I don't like cartoons. I find them, well, cartoony. But it's not that I don't recognize the great writing that occurs in cartoons. However, I kinda consider it cheating. You can do anything in cartoons so it takes away a lot of that cleverness. There are no budget limitations, there are no actors, there is no reality. Shrek makes a joke about the Titanic, boom, he's on the Titanic. Bugs Bunny decides he has the ability to fly, and then he flies. A smurf wants to blow himself, voila, he's blowing himself. It doesn't matter. It's a fucking cartoon!

Anyway, that's just a general thought. The real reason I'm bringing this up is because I woke up this morning, turned on the TV, went in the shower, then came into my room to get dressed and a Saturday morning cartoon was on NBC. Since I was distracted, I didn't turn the channel. But instantly, something got my attention.

The cartoon was something called "Kenny the Shark". And the show is about a family who has a pet shark (you know why you can do this premise? Cause it's a fucking cartoon!). Anyway, I was pulled into this show because in this particular episode, Kenny the Shark has to go to an "AA" style therapy group because he is...a predator. That's right, that's the word they used.

Now, if you were half asleep and getting dressed and not even really understanding what was on TV, there's no way you could not think it was "sexual predator". It was so fricking creepy, I couldn't believe it. He stands up at the meeting and says "I'm Kenny and I'm a predator. I can't get enough flesh". What the fuck? Kids are watching this! Various other animals, all voiced by adult males, stand up and say the same thing. It was insane. And then later in the meeting, a little seal walks in, and the shark goes after him and the seal says "I guess this is kharma" or something.

So the therapy doesn't work and then they try everything to try to cure him short of castrating him. Finally, the little girl in the show hypnotizes the shark and it works. But it backfires and the parents say "Well, I guess the cure is worse than the disease". I have no doubt this show is written by child molesters. The whole show was a defense for molestation! Kenny the Shark is like Nazi propaganda for pervs! I guess it's better that I don't watch this crap.

And guess what, all of this could only happen on a fucking cartoon!