I forgot how hard it is for me to write about stuff when there is no new television on the air. And I’m always reluctant to write about music because I know that the only people who agree with my tastes are homosexual black men and my mom. But I’m gonna give it a shot, mostly because ever since I finally caught on with the Ipod revolution, I’ve eagerly looked forward to every Tuesday to buy new stuff. And I think it’s been a pretty cool summer thus far.
I wrote this thing about “Song Killers”, and how one of the worst things that can happen is when one of your favorite artists hooks up with a song killer, like when R. Kelly started doing songs with Twista. Well, one of the song killers I talked about was Busta Rhymes. Generally, every song he is on I hate. It’s nothing personal, I think he’s talented, but I cannot stand the way he raps. Stop yelling, dude.
Unfortunately, Mr. Rhymes left his label J Records and signed with Aftermath, the label of the greatest musical force of our time, Dr. Dre. This was a very disappointing development, because it’s tough for even a genius like Dre to make Busta good. But then the first single came out, “That’s My Chick”. And it is AWESOME! First of all, it’s actually not produced by Dre, but by another very talented guy, Will I. Am of Black Eyed Peas. And the reason it’s good is because Busta doesn’t rap like Busta on it, rather he does his best Kanye impression. I love that fricking song.
Thus, I bought the album, and it's pretty good. Dre’s beats are so good on this thing, that it makes you realize that all other music you’ve been listening to sucks. It’s just another level, and I’m not even that into music production and all that, but you can just tell. It’s like when you’re watching “Munich”, you may not like the movie, but when you’re watching it you know that a lot of money went into it, and that a serious movie maker created it. Good or bad, it feels professional, slick, and above all, important. That’s how Dre’s beats are. The most frustrating thing on the album? Q-Tip is on 2 songs. What the fuck? If Q-Tip did an album with Dre it would be over. Why is this not happening? Do they not want to make hits? Who wouldn't buy that? I don’t get it. Put Busta on 2 songs, let Tip have the whole album!
Okay, so there was a case of a great producer getting with a shitty rapper and making a good album. What would happen if you took a great producer and put him with a great singer? I give you Timbaland producing Nelly Furtado. And the results? Shitty. I’m a big Furtado fan, and a big Timbaland fan, yet I’m hating their music together. Judging from the Itunes download chart, I’m the only one who thinks that. But I’m sorry, those songs suck. Especially annoying about this collaboration? Justin Timberlake appears for no reason in the video for “Promiscuous”. Dude, make another album already! You’re on a hot streak, bro, you dumped Britney at the exact right moment in history.
Anyway, other musical notes:
Um, when in the hell is that new Pharrell album coming out? I haven't been teased like this since my 3rd grade teacher said my adulthood would feature flying cars (supposedly it's coming out July 25th)
We all have to collectively face our worst fears: the Paris Hilton song is kinda good. You heard me.
Another opinion know one agrees with: I don’t like Gnarls Barkley. Look, I appreciate their shit and I’m glad their popular, it evens out the fact that people like the “Pussycat Dolls” are popular, but I just can’t get into it. It’s like Outkast for me, I like the music I just hate the vocals. And I know, you don’t agree with me.
I really like that Field Mob/Ciara song. But I’m willing to like it less if Ciara ever appears on “Sweet Sixteen” again.
For some reason I’m in love with the “I’m in Love with a Stripper” remix. Actually, I know the reason I’m in love with it: R. Kelly has a verse in it that I’m obsessed with. He starts it by going “Never knew it was possible for a man to fall in love with an ass/I want to get down on one knee and ask that ass to marry me”. Which is funny in itself, but then I saw the video, and he literally gets down on one knee with a wedding ring and asks an ass to marry him. He’s insane! How could anyone be surprised by anything that’s on his sex tapes. (Please, you gotta watch R.'s proposal to an ass)
Seriously, why wasn’t “Shake It” by Eminem and Nate Dogg a bigger hit?
Just give in to the musical charms of Chamillionaire. That’s right, his name’s Chamillionaire.
I’m not that into Ice Cube’s new album, but I do like a song on there called “Doin’ What It ‘Pose 2 Do”. But how do I say that to anyone without sounding like a huge dork. Say that title to yourself right now, it’s ridiculous. Imagine Elton John "And the Grammy goes to "Ice Cube for Doin' What It 'Pose 2 Do"
Robin Thicke has an album coming out July 18th. He did a cool song with Pharrell called "Wanna Love You Girl" that I love. I'm also fascinated by this guy because he's like a dream version of myself, except for the fact that his dad played Kirk Cameron's father in "Growing Pains".