My Friend Writes Books, So Suck It

Well, Pamie forced my hand on this one because she's linked her devotees to me. For those of you who don't know, Pam Ribon is my friend who I met while writing together on a certain show on a certain comedy network starring a certain beaner. This season, we shared an office.

Here's the story of Me and Pamie:

My first day on the show she introduced herself to me. She was Pam, the "girl" writer. And as is the case with every "girl" comedy writer, she was the dirtiest one on staff. It wasn't until weeks later that I found out that she was the world semi-famous "Pamie". It was kinda like working at a newspaper and discovering the timid reporter with the glasses is also Superman. You see, Pamie has fans. Lots of fans. Most of whom know her from her website. Pamie was the original "blogger". She started her online journal from her home in Austin back in the stone ages, or in laymans terms, the '90's. That's where she built a following and moved out to Los Angeles and turned it into a novel and a big time writing career. But you know what? I could give a shit about all that. I was only really impressed when told me she used to write for one my favorite websites, televisionwithoutpity.com. Now that's impressive.

Anyway, Pamie's first book was "Why Girls Are Weird". And now her second book (she's written 2 books!!!) is coming out on August 1st, which is called "Why Moms Are Weird". I'm guessing that the next book she writes will be called "Why Weirdos Are Weird". It's all very impressive, especially because I sure as hell can't write books, although I CAN write the 2nd worst movie of ALL TIME! Ha! Deal with that, lady.

Pamie gave me the book to read awhile back and I did what all good friends would do, I didn't read it. But in my defense we were working a lot and I had to hear every single day about "Why I'm Weird". Anyway, I'm unemployed now so I finally got a chance to read it. Now I don't want to say it's girly, but I promise you ladies, she knocked it right out of the vagina with this one.

Pamie came up to me at our wrap party and asked me what I thought and I kind of stumbled with my answer, which she then told all her peeps about. So I want to set her and everyone else straight with my thoughts here.

First of all, it was impossible for me to read this thing objectively. I know Pamie so well that it's kind of creepy. And I've never read a book written by my friend before. It was really weird to read something that was so...my friend. It wasn't cracking open a book, it was cracking open Pamie's brain. So I couldn't read it the way all of you will read it.

With that being said, I liked the book. I really liked the book. I couldn't put it down and finished it in a day and half, which is really good because I read about as fast as the learning impaired Donna Martin. In fact, Pamie didn't put this in her little website, but the first thing I said to her was "there's a lot of jokes". And there are. It's filled with funny, which is amazing in a novel. And it makes sense that Pamie is great at writing books because she has about a million thoughts on every little thing that happens. There was a half eaten candy bar on my desk for 3 weeks, and Pamie had created 100 different stories for the mysterious reasons behind it. She could've just stopped at the first reason: I'm a lazy, messy pig.

So yes, Pamie, I really liked your book and you need to accept that. But the fact is that it IS very girly. Which is on purpose. And you know how I know it's on purpose? Because I just spent six month with this girl going back and forth with wetback and rednecks fucking their sister jokes. She does non-girly shit really well, just ask all the offended wetbacks and rednecks.

Anyway, go out and buy it when it comes out and know that the book you're reading, isn't really a book. It's Pamie's head. So be gentle.