Well ladies, looks like it's your lucky day. K-Fed is back on the market. That's right, he's a single man again. And if you're looking for a baby daddy to pop out a couple of kids with, I can think of no better choice.
K-Fed haunts me. I actually spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about him. It was only recently that I realized: I am K-Fed. Or could've been. Think about it - I like to dance, I think I'm black and if I had kids I wouldn't mind if they were black too, I sometimes wear my baseball hat at funny angles, I'm not all that into shaving, I'm good at sitting around all day and doing nothing, and if I had the means there is no doubt I would make a horrible rap album...
So how can I really hate on the guy?
Oh yeah, cause he's a douchebag.
But the more I've thought about K-Fed's rap career, the more I realized that he's actually doing something historic. K-Fed's album is the final victory for the feminist movement.
Think about it.
Here's a guy who is basically a stay at home husband. He is not the bread winner, and he definitely does not wear the (camouflaged) pants in the family. And not only has he happily accepted this role, he has mass produced an album bragging about it!
Could you imagine John Wayne bragging about all the money that his wife gave to him? Or how about Frank Sinatra? Nope. The worm has turned. Women and men are equal, and K-Fed is the modern day Gloria Steinem.
But while old school men's men like Frank or the Duke, if alive, would probably be sad about this, the fact is that this equality of the sexes thing ain't too shabby. Because now, like Amy Irving, Ivana Trump, and Jerry Hall, K-Fed's about to get half.
Now let me leave you with some words from the man himself. And I can't help but feel that these song lyrics were a window into his troubled heart. Was this a sign to the trouble ahead? You be the judge:
"My life crime partner, my wife my honor
But now I’m feeling like George Bush and Osama
We gotta stop this shit put an end to this drama"
--Kevin Federline, "Caught Up"