This Britney thing is amazing in so many ways. I don't know if we've ever really seen anything like her career. I think maybe the only equivalent would be Michael Jackson, minus the whole kid raping. I mean, look at the similarities:
They both were pushed into performing as children. They got famous young. They shot to the highest of superstardom. Michael has a crazy dad, Britney has a crazy mom. While on the Mickey Mouse club, they both thought Justin Timberlake was hot. And once they started marrying people, they lost their God Damn mind.
So you see, it's very similiar, you just have to trade MJ's pedophilia issues for Brit being the stupidest person in the world.
I've heard a couple people say "it's not that crazy that she shaved her head". Okay, fuck you. It is that crazy! Actually, the even crazier part is her reason for doing it "I just don't want anyone touching me, I'm tired of people touching me!". That's a nervous breakdown, or a drug breakdown, or a nervous/drug/did you see Christina Aguilera at the Grammy's? breakdown. Somewhere, Justin is thanking his lucky stars while boning a chick with a full head of hair. God bless him.
My favorite part of this is: If there was a child custody hearing, I would be confident in selecting any person in the world to go up against Kevin Federline and win. But Britney has somehow managed to make K-Fed look the sane option. That's genius! Next to Britney, K-Fed looks like Phillip Drummond (and he has 2 black kids just like Mr. D). I know "Hit Me Baby One More Time" sold a lot of copies, but that's an even bigger accomplishment.
Seriously though, that should be the next anti-drug commercial. It's Britney with her head shaved and the voice over says: "Drugs: They can make you a less fit parent than Kevin Federline". That would scare the shit out of people and actually work. Suck on that, Nancy Reagan.
I actually have a theory about why she did this though. See if you agree with this: Britney's career is in the toilet, right? She hasn't had a hit in a long time, everyone makes fun of her, she's getting a divorce, etc. But what was the one thing that brought her into the spotlight, that got her a huge amount of attention? It was those pictures of her getting out of the car with Paris. That was huge, and she was desperate to recapture it. So what I think happened was, in a move eerily reminiscent of the film "Single White Female", Britney gave her head the same haircut her vagina has.