This Britney thing is amazing in so many ways. I don't know if we've ever really seen anything like her career. I think maybe the only equivalent would be Michael Jackson, minus the whole kid raping. I mean, look at the similarities:
They both were pushed into performing as children. They got famous young. They shot to the highest of superstardom. Michael has a crazy dad, Britney has a crazy mom. While on the Mickey Mouse club, they both thought Justin Timberlake was hot. And once they started marrying people, they lost their God Damn mind.
So you see, it's very similiar, you just have to trade MJ's pedophilia issues for Brit being the stupidest person in the world.
I've heard a couple people say "it's not that crazy that she shaved her head". Okay, fuck you. It is that crazy! Actually, the even crazier part is her reason for doing it "I just don't want anyone touching me, I'm tired of people touching me!". That's a nervous breakdown, or a drug breakdown, or a nervous/drug/did you see Christina Aguilera at the Grammy's? breakdown. Somewhere, Justin is thanking his lucky stars while boning a chick with a full head of hair. God bless him.
My favorite part of this is: If there was a child custody hearing, I would be confident in selecting any person in the world to go up against Kevin Federline and win. But Britney has somehow managed to make K-Fed look the sane option. That's genius! Next to Britney, K-Fed looks like Phillip Drummond (and he has 2 black kids just like Mr. D). I know "Hit Me Baby One More Time" sold a lot of copies, but that's an even bigger accomplishment.
Seriously though, that should be the next anti-drug commercial. It's Britney with her head shaved and the voice over says: "Drugs: They can make you a less fit parent than Kevin Federline". That would scare the shit out of people and actually work. Suck on that, Nancy Reagan.
I actually have a theory about why she did this though. See if you agree with this: Britney's career is in the toilet, right? She hasn't had a hit in a long time, everyone makes fun of her, she's getting a divorce, etc. But what was the one thing that brought her into the spotlight, that got her a huge amount of attention? It was those pictures of her getting out of the car with Paris. That was huge, and she was desperate to recapture it. So what I think happened was, in a move eerily reminiscent of the film "Single White Female", Britney gave her head the same haircut her vagina has.
14 comments:
I have a theory too: you fail at comedy.
I rate this post thumbs way down.
Thanks, Joe Rogan.
Ugh, are they invading the sacred Britney post? Enough! I hadn't even gotten around to thinking how crazy that this could make her look at a custody hearing. It just gets worse...and well better because, I mean, she shaved her freaking head!
Well, to be fair if it had been Joe Rogan don't you think there would have been references to throwing down and many vulgar curse words?
Britney is totally crazy, and not cute crazy either, but actual drug unduced or just straigt schitzo break down crazy. Making Federline look responsible is both the biggest accomplishment and biggest fuck up I've ever seen.
The only thing that would make this even funnier is if Britney shaved her head because all the lice kept eating her Valtrex.
Careful Irwin, I heard Jim Rome make the K-Fed winning custody joke. I hope no one accusses you of stealing Rome's material. The last thing you need is to face off with angry Rome fans and angry Rogan fans.
Well, I heard the guys on K-Rock (kevin and bean) do that joke this morning, so if Rome comes after me, I'm sending the huge Irwin fan base after Kevin and Bean.
you are so right about the people who don't seem to understand that the shaving thins is a VERY big deal. Why has someone not grabbed her and taken her into place where she can get help and not get out in 12 hours? Why is she still running around partying? Why does nobody mind? why arn't they doing anything??
i think you're good at comedy (why else would everyone be here)
That's a nervous breakdown, or a drug breakdown, or a nervous/drug/did you see Christina Aguilera at the Grammy's? breakdown.
Or just post-partum depression.
Ugh, once again, you've managed to be wrong, wrong, wrong. So, she had a nervous breakdown. So she's "crazy" now? They actually had an interview with a psychotherapist (who, I admit, doesn't have a whiney blog like you do), who said that there was actually a lot behind this (which I won't delve into here, mainly because I don't believe in wasting TOO much time on a Mencia writer such as yourself). Your theory is really, really stupid, with absolutely no real reasoning behind it.
But I wish you luck on future endeavors.
Hey A^laska.....if you don't like this blog you should strongly consider NOT READING IT....go elsewhere- PLEASE!!!
Please, don't worry about a^laska. i was gonna respond, but then i read his blog and got really, really sad for him.
I laughed at this post. Britney is now bald EVERYWHERE. Hair! No! Hair must go! No hair! Touching meeeee! eeee!!!
I particularly liked how only Britney could make K-Fed look like a good parenting option. ha ha!
But what do I know -- I am not a comedian, I am just the person who laughs at comedian jokes. Oh yeah, that would make me the CLIENT.
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