In the last 8 months, there have been two big celebrity (premature) deaths. Neither of which should've surprised anyone. In fact, if you were to ask people, who would you be least surprised by if they suddenly dropped dead? The top two would most certainly be Anna Nicole Smith and the Crocodile Hunter. The general reaction to the news was a "yeah, sounds about right".
With that in mind, the crack staff at Handleman Industries has compiled a top eleven list (why eleven? cause that's how many I thought of) of celebrities who we'd be least surprised by if they died right now.
11. 50 Cent/Eminem - I was considering just writing in "rappers" in this slot, cause they're always a sure bet and no surprise at all. But a lot of people who carry guns and wear kevlar hate 50, and I just can't imagine Eminem being old. Something is going to get him - drugs, guns, or Kim.
10. Tara Reid/Lindsay Lohan/The Olsen Twins - I just hope I'm not in the car these crack whores get in the head on collision with.
9. Mike Tyson - People have been predicting this one for years, but Mike keeps on defying the odds.
8. Paula Abdul - Has already topped Anna Nicole's record for "most drugged out TV appearances", and people just continue to let it happen. Weird.
7. Tom Sizemore/Danny Bonaduce - A bigger shock? Both of them living.
6. The Crocodile Hunter's daughter - Come on, you wouldn't be surprised.
5.Carnie Wilson - There's only so much a stomach can take.
4. Spencer from "The Hills" - He actually should be number one, because if I see him out in Hollywood, I'm taking this douchebag out myself. I'm convinced that he's pure evil.
3. Artie Lange - a year and a half ago he was 200 pounds. Since then, he got addicted to heroin and now weighs 300 pounds. There are websites devoted to guessing when he'll die, I'm not kidding.
2. Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston - It would be such a shame if instead of remembering B. Brown for "My Prerogative" or "Tender Roni", we remembered him for his last hit "Murder/Suicide".
1. Courtney Love - This was a no brainer. And she's only one on the list you could argue was a more sure bet than the two who actually died. You know, I was never a big fan of Hole or her acting work, but I'm a huge admirer of her ability to continue breathing.
5 comments:
I think you might have to wait in line to take our Spencer. That guy is unbelieveable! What an A$$. I wish i could kill him myself.
OOPS, I meant to say take OUT Spencer.
On the "I can't believe they haven't OD (OD-ed?) yet" list....Kate Moss and Pete Doherty
I just watched "The Hills" for the first time ever, and I agree that Spencer needs to die. He is awful awful awful.
My vote is for Michael Jackson, though, he is due for something else completely bizarre and weird to happen to him.
I would like to add Desmond Hume to the list, dude is way past dew.
Post a Comment