I thought they always did Best Supporting Actress first? I guess they're not even to try to hide the fact that this show sucks. I'm telling you, we're 3 years away from the Golden Globes usurping this bullshit.
Finally, Best Supporting Actor. Alan Arkin wins! Wow, the Academy really hated "Dreamgirls". So did I. I would say "poor Eddie", but you know what? Fuck you, Norbit.
Hey, it's Jerry Seinfeld! Finally, they have a comedian on the show doing funny jokes.
Has there always been this many awards I don't care about? I have an idea - cut out art direction, makeup, and editing, and let the stars actually give their whole speech.
Hey, it's Gwyneth Paltrow everybody! Remember her? She used to act in movies and look pretty. She actually looks good tonight.
"The Departed" wins Best Adapted Screenplay. Really? It was a great movie and all, but that script had more inconsistencies than Peter O'Toole's face.
The Oscar looks big in everyone's hands...except for Jennifer Hudson's.
There haven't been this many montages on television since Baywatch was on the air.
Reese Witherspoon looks good and all, but in the divorce settlement I think she got partial custody of the kids but full custody of both their chins.
Forest Whitaker wins "Best Actor". Wanna know why so many people want to get into show business? Look at Forest Whitaker's wife.
Helen Mirren wins Best Actress. No surprise there. I seriously consider the following question (which was sorta brought up by Will Ferrell and Jack Black): who would I rather have sex with: Cate Blanchett or Helen Mirren. True, Blanchett is 30 years younger and supposedly "hot", but Mirren has boobs and weighs over 80 pounds. I'm going Mirren.
Martin Scorcese wins for Best Director. Throughout the night, when the winner was announced the Oscar announcer would tell us a fun fact. Favorite fun fact of the night is about Scorcese: "He says "The Departed" is the first film he's directed that had a plot". I laugh, but then think about it, and holy shit he's right! Maybe he should try doing that more often.
"The Departed" wins Best Picture and I'm glad. It's the first year in awhile where the best movie I saw actually won. It's definitely a flawed film, but it was the most enjoyable.
Finally, I know I'm biased here, but Will and Jack had it right - they need to start honoring comedies. "Devil Wears Prada" was a damn good movie, and "Borat" deserved a mention somewhere. If you do a whole movie convincing real people that you're an annoying foreign journalist, how does that not qualify you for Best Actor? Call me crazy, but it's way more difficult to make Talladegha Nights than to make "Babel". That's right, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, that. just. happened!