I have been friends with 2 true "players" in my life. The first was a good buddy I had in junior high and high school. His parents must have known his future, because his name was...well, I'm not going to say his name. But let's just say his first name was porny and his last name rhymed with "cocks".
Let's call him BC for story's sake.
I was in the 7th grade when I first heard that name and the whispers that followed. The whispers were from girls. It was his first day in school and somehow he was already a wanted a man. And to me, he was already a hated man.
I had to hate him. I mean, how dare this outsider take my women! Of course, they were neither women nor mine, but whatever. The last thing I needed was more competition for the girls I wasn't getting.
I went out to our Junior High fields where a couple of guys were kicking a soccer ball around, one of whom was BC. He was tall and filled out with a 5 o'clock shadow, and looked just about identical to how he would look 10 years later. This dude had hit puberty in the 3rd grade!
Through basketball, football, and just about every other sport on the planet, BC and I became friends. We became even better friends when he took himself off the market and started dating a girl named Kelly. She was about a foot taller than me, so I was happy that I now had the girls who wanted nothing to do with me all to myself.
Over the next couple of years, BC and I became best friends. He was a closeted comic book geek with an unhealthy obsession for Batman. I wasn't into that shit, but he was the closest thing to a superhero I had ever seen. Random girls would approach him...all the time. He would go out with every hot girl in school from every different clique. He was the Dark Knight, and I was Robin. Uncool, virgin Robin. But I felt lucky just to be in the movie.
I remember once he was going out with two 18-year old seniors at the same time, who of course didn't know about one another. One was a very cute track star with a full ride to Notre Dame and was bitchy to everyone. The other was a cheerleader and arguably the hottest girl in our town. He got them both. He was 15 years old.
When he was 17 his girlfriend was a 23 year old women who he met at the mall while clothes shopping with his mom.
When he was 18 he was having casual sex with the hot trainer for the high school basketball team, who was married.
Now, I was an eye witness to all of this. And I just didn't get it. These girls knew who BC was. In many cases, they knew his reputation. He was kind of an asshole. And when we'd all hang together, they'd seemingly like me a lot more than they liked him. And then at the end of the night they'd go home with BC. But he's an asshole. I'm a nice guy!
I was young.
But let's back up a bit to when we were still sophomores. I was at home. There was a knock at the door. BC was in a panic and needed a place to crash for a bit. I'm like, "what's wrong, man? Are you all right?" And he says, "you can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. I was at Carrie's house..."
"It doesn't matter. Her parents were gone. So we started having sex..."
I jumped out of my chair. "What?!!! You have sex? Since when do you have sex?" He smiles at me, like, you're so young. Of course we were the same age but it was still true.
"I've been having sex for a long time."
"You've been having sex and you never told me?"
"I thought you knew."
I should mention at this point that BC is, and will always be, a pathological liar. Well, that's not entirely true. He would never make up stuff about himself, he didn't need to. He never told anyone anything over what was asked for. He didn't brag. It was like he wanted you to think he was a good person, even though in a lot of ways he wasn't. He had more secret lives going than Bruce Wayne himself.
"How would I know you have sex? You've never told me that."
"Remember that time I told you about me and Kelly in the shower?"
"Dude, if you're in a shower with a girl you have to have sex with her. You should assume that."
I realized at that moment that I had a lot to learn about love and showers, and was unsure that if I'd ever learn it.
"Wait. The you and Kelly in the shower story is from the 7th grade?
Sex in the 7th grade. When I think about it now it kinda makes me sick. But back then, my mind was blown. I didn't even have pubes yet!
"So we start doing it doggystyle..."
I had to keep myself from jumping out of my seat and yelling "doggystyle!!!"
"And her dad walks in..."
"Holy shit. What happened?"
"I put my pants on and said that maybe I should go. And I did. And I'm pretty sure he called my mom."
"Cause he said: I'm calling your mom."
That was BC. Shit like that was always happening to him. And it wasn't like he was really trying that hard. He was a natural. Women were drawn to him. It was amazing and depressing to me at the same time. How could so many girls be throwing themselves at this dude and I can't get one?
I didn't know the answer to that. But I chalked it up to his good looks and the fact that he had been shaving since elementary school. But when I met the second "Player" friend, I realized that I was wrong...
(This got long, so I'll write Part II soon and hopefully get to the point)