Black Names

Let's face it, black names - much like celebrity baby names - are funny. Heck, they're even funnier when you combine them - Jermajesty Jackson, anyone?

There are too many great black names in history to name them all. And sometimes even when they're not funny, they are funny. Case in point: George Foreman naming all of his kids George Foreman.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on black names at all. In fact, I'm mulling over several black names for my future children right now. It makes total sense. I mean, why name my kid Shawn when I can name him DeShawn. Who gets more chicks, Shawn or DeShawn? The answer is obvious, people, DeShawn has sex with the hottest girls in school.

And in some cases black names can guarantee success. Just look at that couple in Orlando who locked up rap fame for their son when they named him Flo Rida. You think "Low" could be rapped by a Larry? I don't think so. And could one of the best NBA players be named Dwayne Wade? Hell no. Dwayne sucks at basketball, but Dwyane Wade is sick.

The football games this week sucked, but there were some great names for me to think about for my son. These are guys I saw on TV in the last couple days:

Knowshon Moreno

JaMarcus Russell (the 'm' is capitalized)

Ramarcus Brown (the 'm' isn't capitalized)

Da'Cody Fagg

Craphonso Thorpe (never start a name with crap)

Atari Bigby

A new trend is to combine two names. It solves the old problem; you have a kid and your spouse wants one name and you want something else. The solution is simple, put them together!

Kentravis Aubrey

Toddrick Verdell

DajLeon Farr

Shawnbrey McNeal

And finally, my personal favorite, and possibly the lone white guy on the list:

T-Bob Hebert

T-Bob is his real name. However, I don't know if it is actually short for T-Robert.

So many choices to consider for my kid, but I think I'm gonna have to stick with a family name. A name that's been passed down through the generations - D'Brickashaw Handleman.