Facebook Is Slightly Retarded

So I joined Facebook not long ago. I didn't wanna do it, those things are a tad gay. The reason I finally took the plunge is kind of a long story that no one believes, but I've been trying to get in contact with a good friend from high school about a pitch. I couldn't find him anywhere, and then he popped up as a friend of my good friend's facebook. If I wanted to email him, I had to join. So there you go, that's my excuse.

Anyway, so I'm on there and it's fine. It's funny to see people you haven't seen in 15 years and who they married and how many kids they have and how old I suddenly am. Yeah, it's a real joy. But here's the thing I don't get about this whole thing...

People find me on there and ask to be my friend. Fine, great. So I confirm them as my friend and that's it, it's over. After we're confirmed, they don't send me a message or email me or anything. So...we're friends? You want to be friends with me but you don't wanna say what's up or how ya doing or it's been awhile? I'm just some statistic for you? Yeah, you're real popular.

The strangest thing of all happened a couple days ago. There's a girl at work that I don't really talk to. We've said maybe 2 sentences to each other. And then I got a friend request from her on Facebook. I thought it was a little strange, but of course I accepted it. Hours later she commented on my photo, asking if the kid in the picture "belonged to me".

I responded and said, "no. that's my nephew. he likes to poop." (the picture is of Toots on the toilet)


Mere minutes later, she responded with another comment. At this point, we had communicated more through Facebook than we had in our entire lives. Keep in mind, while all of this going on she is two offices down from me, literally 20 feet away.

Later that night, I was standing in the hallway backstage before our show was gonna start. Here comes the Facebook girl right towards me. She glances at me, but walks right on by. Not a word.

And that is why Facebook is slightly retarded.