The big story in US Weekly this week is that LeAnn Rhimes was "caught" cheating on her husband with Lifetime movie co-star Eddie Cibrian. I know what you're all thinking..."LeAnn Rimes is in Lifetime movies? How sad!"
US Weekly has some crazy surveillance footage of LeAnn and Eddie kissing in a restaurant. US Weekly is stealing ideas from "Cheaters" now. But they don't have Joey Greco, so it just isn't the same.
At first, I had only a passing interest in this story. I don't really care about LeAnn Rimes, though I do occasionally see her walking around Santa Monica. She seems lovely. And I wouldn't even know who Eddie Cibrian was except for the fact that my friend recently bought his house. I know what you're thinking..."Eddie Cibrian had enough money to buy a house?"
But I looked into the matter today, and I think we should hold the phone on a rush to judgement. We all did that with OJ and look how that turned out. We looked real silly when we found out the whole thing was a hit organized by the Colombian drug cartel, LAPD, and Marcus Allen.
LeAnn offered up a non-denial response on her website. She said something about "not everything is black and white".
Again, I know nothing about LeAnn Rhimes. But I found out she got married when she was 19 or something to "a backup dancer". All right, interesting. And then I saw pictures of her and her husband.
Take a minute to fully digest those. See anything interesting? Keep in mind "not everything is black and white". Also keep in mind: "backup dancer".
Okay, no, stop right there. Don't even go there. I'm not saying her husband is gay. I'm not saying that at all. All I'm saying is that there is a slight chance, a tiny one, that he might be the gayest guy in the world.
That's not exactly K-Fed up there. That's more like this guy:
I don't know if you have any friends that go out with gay guys, but I seem to have a lot. It's a startling trend. I don't know why they do it, maybe they're afraid of penis. Or rather, the kind of penis that stands at attention around boobies.
And these two got married really young, it's a confusing time. They didn't fully test out the goods. You're so busy working on your jazz hands that you don't know who you want giving you hand jobs.
Add to the fact that this is Hollywood and people marry gay guys for a million other reasons - movie roles, wardrobe advice, made up religions - and I think we need to cut LeAnn some slack. Let her ride the Cibrian unencumbered from your slings and arrows.