3 Summer Movies

I just saw "Star Trek". I thought it was okay. I had never seen one second of any Star Trek anything before. Not the TV shows, the movies, nothing. But I felt like I should see it purely out of loyalty to JJ and Damon. I guess they did a great job, it can't be easy satisfying both critics and angry nerds. But I just don't seem to really enjoy big special effects movies anymore.

The weird thing is, I haven't seen anything Star Trek and yet I seemed to get all the references. I think it's from watching so much Eddie Murphy's stand up in my youth, cause he used to do a lot of Star Trek jokes. For example, he'd talk about Kirk "fucking green bitches", and that happened in the movie. He did a bit about how you know who was going to die every episode because Kirk and Zulu or Spock would get beamed down to a planet along with another person from the crew who you'd never seen before. That happened in the movie.

There's also "dammit Jim, I'm a doctor!" Don't know why I knew that, but I do. Also, "I'm giving it all she's got, Captain!" It's just strange how all of that stuff has leaked out from the show to other people who then passed it on to me. Star Trek is kinda like herpes in that way.

Anyway, after watching it I realized I could give a shit about Transformers or Terminator or whatever. The three movies I'm really excited about are these:

There are some people in the world who, no matter what they do, you just love them unconditionally. For me, that person is Wishbone salad dressing. Oh, and also, Michael Cera. I will take Michael Cera with anything. I'll even take him with soup. I don't care that he can only play that one character, that one character is awesome. I don't want to see him do anything else. Thus, I can't wait for "Year One".



The next movie has the best trailer of the summer. Hopefully, it translate into a good movie. Strangely, it has the same exact premise as the classic "Dude, Where's My Car?" Normally I would be extremely angry about this, but it looks so great that all is forgiven. That's how good the preview for "The Hangover" is.

The guy with the beard is Zach Galifianakis, he's one of the funniest comedians around. And the fat guy playing Mike Tyson is Mike Tyson.



And finally, is it an insult to call something "this year's Juno"? Cause in a way that's what "500 Days of Summer" is. It's a movie that's all about the script. It has an independent feel, not a star studded cast, and it's just gonna be a flat out good movie. But without annoying phrases like "Phuket Thailand" and "your eggo is preggo".

I'm gonna do a separate longer post about his movie when it comes out, but the reason I know about it and am excited about it is because my friend gave me the script a couple months ago. Usually I hate every script I read and fall into a depression about the fact that I'm not a millionaire with all these crappy scripts that are getting made. I have tons of crappy scripts!

But this screenplay might be the best that I've ever read. Unfortunately, the producers totally screwed the pooch with casting. The female lead was written for a sexy, hot, "I would kill for a chance with that girl" girl. So who'd they go with:

Rachel Bilson? Sienna Miller? Minka Kelly? Megan Fox? Mila Kunis? Eliza Dushku?

Nope.

You see, those girls are too "attractive". Instead, they went with Zooey Deschanel.

You have no idea how this bums me out, and completely ruins what should've been the best movie of the summer. Now I will watch it and not believe a second of it. I hope you can get past her bangs, because I can't...