This has truly been the week from hell, and surprisingly it has nothing to do with the house I can't afford or the car that broke. I've had a terrible situation at work come up, and I've been living with a permanent puke on deck for the past week. I can't get into that now, maybe later. Hopefully, it will be resolved shortly.
But let's check in with how things are coming with the new house:
-The previous owner went to a lot of trouble to clean the carpets and repaint the walls for me. All of that work was quickly undone by 3 uncaring movers.
-These movers appeared Asian, yet spoke Russian. They were like villains in a Bond film, only instead of weapons they wielded pull carts.
-When you look at a prospective house, you tend to see it only in the daytime. I've discovered that this house has more outside lights than inside lights. Strange.
-Cabinets are extremely expensive.
-Proudly started the first fire in my first fire place. Singed arm hair.
-First night in the new place. Woke up, did my morning ritual stretch and yawn, triumphantly looked out of my bedroom window to all that I now survey, and discovered 3 Latino men being handcuffed by the local police...right next to my driveway. While one was being patted down, he looked up right at me looking at him - I dove to the floor.
-Now that I have 3 toilets, I take advantage of the ability to alternate between them. I never have to use the same toilet twice in a row!
-No longer coming up with new screenplay ideas, instead my creativity is devoted to coming up with a "heartwarming" story to submit to HGTV's "Save My Bath".
-Dining tables are extremely expensive.
-Now wish I didn't know every word to every '90's R&B song, and had some ability to use a screwdriver.
-Direct TV can kiss my ass. They screwed up my order. I called them. The guy goes "well, you're only choice is to pay $199 dollars to replace it". I reply, "I think there is one other choice, isn't there?" He says no. "Yes, yes there is. I could GET CABLE!" He immediately transfers me to the "customer wants to switch to cable!" lady. It must be so rewarding to be the guy who tries to fuck people over unless they get really angry.
-Long HDMI cables are extremely expensive.
-Did you know that you have to buy your own garbage can? What kind of a society is this?
-Garbage cans are extremely expensive.