I've been neglecting the blog because of craziness - just caught up with work and now I'm sick. This is how bad it is: I haven't even watched Monday night's Bachelorette yet. Yes, you should be worried. But I'll be back next week.
Quick story from tonight:
I've mentioned this before, but my sister's biggest pet peeve are people who look at what you're buying at the grocery store in the checkout line. Well, I was in Von's just a moment ago, and it happened. I was in line, and a guy looks at my stuff and goes:
(creepy/chipper) "That's an interesting combo!"
Here's what I was buying:
Green grapes, jug of lemonade, peaches, Dayquil, Emergen-C, and 6 Haagen Daas bars.
So I go, yeah I'm a little sick. He says "you sound a little rough".
So then I'm like, fuck it, what's he got on the ol' conveyor belt. I was praying for condoms or preparation H or at least some tampons. But nope, the man was a health nut. He had bananas, oranges, and some bran cereal.
I said "well, maybe if I ate like you I wouldn't be sick".
He replies: "Yep, maybe."
Fucking dick. You know you want one of these Haagan Daas bars. It's a sick day! I shouldn't be defending myself to the likes of you, grocery looker.
Anyway, for my sister's sake and for my sake, mind your business at the store.
Oh, before I forget: Happy OJ Freeway Chase Anniversary!
5 comments:
Irwin - I must know ... will you be watching Fat Bachelor on Fox this summer?!
Funny you should ask, i almost mentioned that in this post. I just saw multiple commercials for it and got very excited. I'm thinking there will be a recap of the first episode. Should be interesting.
I hate that too. One time, I was checking out and buying a lot of stuff, and this haughty woman in line behind me said, "I guess you don't buy groceries too often, DO YOU?" I wanted to ask her why it was any of her business how often I grocery shop, but I didn't. Next time, though...
Picture if you will a sweaty hotel meeting room, smell of stale coffee under. Mandatory attendance at some teambuilding b.s. Speaker tells story of time at grocery store when he asked checker if she thought he had enough toilet paper for the groceries he was buying.
He found this riotously hilarious.
Worse than checking out someone's cart? Asking they checker to think about the quantity of your poo.
Are you really back on Bachelorette duty? Because I've seen some of the show and totally wouldn't blame you for giving it a miss.
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