The Comedy Cliches

My friend and I recently had a discussion about overused comedy cliches. This topic came up because he was told in a meeting that "How I Met Your Mother" invented the phrase "wait for it" - which of course, is total bullshit. That's like saying Magic Johnson invented the no look pass or the high five or the AIDS.

It's doubtful you can trace the origins of "wait for it". All we know is, it was definitely around since before "How I Met Your Mother" (I remember my friend Susan using it in '03 and it being played out then) and people have been using the shit out of it for years.

There was another comedy cliche in "500 Days of Summer" that I forgot about. It hasn't been used that much recently, but I've seen it a million times. And it always gets a laugh. Always. It never fails. And sure enough, when it happened in "500 Days" the theater cracked up.

It's this one:

Guy finally gets laid, he wakes up in the morning with a shit eating grin and a newfound bounce in his step and some kind of "happy music".

People really love that for some reason. That's how hard up dudes have it, when they finally get some ass blue birds fly on their shoulder. I think the most famous version is from "Big". But there's countless others, and now "500 Days" is added to that illustrious list.

So, the movie...

It was okay, I was a little disappointed. It could've been edited tighter. Also, they shouldn't have given away the ending at the start. It seemed to ruin any surprise and made it feel even longer. Plus, there was a key sequence in the script that was amazing. The little sister says, "when you look back, don't just remember the good things..."

And then we cut to scenes we've already seen but we see them differently. It's pretty powerful the way it was written, and I don't think they pulled it off in the movie version.

Then of course, there was Zooey. Just homely. There's no other word, friends. She is. It's indisputable. And there's this embarrassing sequence where they describe her as setting the record for guy's doing double takes when they see her because of her beauty, and how her sheer gorgeousness caused sales to go up at the store she worked at.

It was the funniest part of the movie.

And here's the big fuck you (at least to me, personally): when I read the script, I thought about the (the million) actresses I'd rather see in the role. Near the top of the list: Minka Kelly. And who appears at the end of the movie? Minka fucking Kelly.

How do you have the nerve to have the girl who should've played Summer be the girl at the end? That's the movie I wanna watch! That's the girl that's out of your league who breaks your heart. Zooey Deschanel is Minka's ugly, quirky friend who you tell your problems to after Minka cheats on you with Riggins. But even you can't complain too much cause Riggins is so awesome, with his tousled hair and devil may care attitude...

All right, I'm getting side tracked by Riggins. But the point is, here's why Zooey Deschanel is my arch nemesis:

I did this google search today: "zooey deschanel unattractive"

And the search came back: "did you mean 'zooey deschanel attractive?'"

Damn you, Deschanel! Stop ruining everything!



p.s. Congratulations to Ed and Jillian, and let me be the first to say: Happy Sexless Marriage!