No, not hating Jews. Or demanding to get blown before taking a jacuzzi. Although, the jacuzzi thing sounds kinda good.
No, I'm talking about the budget deal.
I don't know much, but I think I have this right: in March, the Republicans stated that any cutting of the deficit would have to be made up of 85% spending cuts, and 15% revenue increases (taxes).
So Obama, the shrewd negotiator that he is, offered up a budget that consisted of 83% spending cuts, 17% revenue increases. And of course, the Republicans quickly called him a Communist.
They won't do the deal, even though it's pretty much the exact deal they said they wanted. It's their old rule that anything Obama says - even when it's their idea - they automatically have to hate it.
Republicans don't seem to understand that they only have a majority in the House. I know "compromise" sounds like a dirty word, but that's generally what happens in negotiations when you don't have all the power. The goal is for both sides to be a little unhappy.
So it's time to knock off the nonsense. Obama has to learn what Mel Gibson learned in the movie "Ransom": you can't negotiate with terrorists.
This is my proposal:
Obama should get network TV time, and sit at his desk in the Oval office. On his desk: piles and piles of CASH.
PRESIDENT OBAMA (directly to camera)
The whole world knows now that we are unable to come up with a budget deal, and the Republicans are holding the debt ceiling hostage. This is the money that awaits the men that have the power to do something about it. This is your ransom.
$200 billion dollars in social security cuts, just like you wanted. But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for the debt ceiling. Not one dime, not one penny.
You still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don't, well, then, God be with you, because nobody else on this Earth will be.
Then he tells Rene Russo to "just shut up...and BLOW ME, sugar tits!". And scene!