I just turned in a script to my agent, and now the worst part about being a writer happens:
I have to wait for a response. And since I'm nobody, and Team Handleman is Team Handleman, that could be a long wait.
So after toiling away for about a million hours and setting a deadline for myself and turning it in, I now have to wait for judgment. Because reading a script should take as long as writing one.
And since I'm not a respected writer of any sort, that judgment could be a "didn't work" or a "back to the drawing board" or, as my previous manager once said, "you didn't get it". Oh, how I wish I had the clout that forced them to like anything that I shit out of my computer. That would be the best. That's George Lucas status, where you just write one draft and say "Here's the next Star Wars, there's a jive talking alien in it" and everyone goes "sounds awesome!"
It's times like these when I remember a book I read awhile ago. It was called "The Man Who Heard Voices", and it's about M. Night Shyamalan. It was written while Night was writing and directing his instant classic, "Lady in the Water".
It's funny to read now because the author assumes that "Lady in the Water" is going to be brilliant. At that point in history, Night was practically undefeated. All of his movies had been hits, though "The Village" was a bit disappointing.
Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, there's a great part of the book before the movie goes into production. It's when Night is just finishing the screenplay, and it describes the process of him turning it in to the powers that be in Hollywood.
And this is where we get to me and my dream, because Night was living it. Here it is:
He lives on a bunch of acres of land, with a separate building away from his house where he writes. And when he is done with a script, this is what happens:
His assistant puts several copies of the script in a briefcase, and gets a first class ticket to Los Angeles. When he lands, a car is waiting for him. The car takes him to the head of the studio's house.
Once there, he delivers the script to the head of the studio, and no one else. No one is allowed to touch the script except for the intended recipient.
Then the assistant goes to Night's agent's house, and does the same thing. And then to a very small circle of other big shots around town.
This is on a Saturday or a Sunday. And this is where things get awesome.
The people who have the scripts are now inside a 3 hour window. They have 3 hours to read the script and tell Night what they think. He knows when they've received the scripts, and he is waiting for their call 3 hours from that time.
Afterwords, the assistant goes and picks up the scripts, gets back on the plane, and comes home.
And that, my friends, is the dream.
I should note, after "The Happening" came out, Night now generously gives the heads of studios a thousand hour window to read stuff, and isn't surprised when they don't call back at all.