Sorry, I've forgotten to provide an update on my pilot situation. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of exciting things to say.
If things had gone right, I'd be talking casting right now. Directors. Awful network notes. I'd probably have to pretend that some celebrity that I've previously shit on is now awesome because they are doing my show! "I know that I've said I don't like bangs, but they look really good on Liv Tyler".
But alas, it was not to be. So I can still say that Liv Tyler and her bangs are the worst. And the truth is, this news isn't all bad...
So last year, as you may recall, I sold a one hour pilot. I did not sell it directly to a network. I sold it to a very large production company, the kind that produces a shitload of shows on TV for all of the networks.
They thought the idea might be right for a big time feature director they have under a development deal. So they hooked me up with the president of that director's production company.
The guy calls me and we arrange a meeting. For some reason, it happens at a deli. This is very confusing to me - am I supposed to pitch the show at a deli? Will we order grilled cheeses? Will the people at other tables hear me make a fool of myself? I'm not a deli man! But if you would've told me it was at a Jamba Juice I'd be your huckleberry.
Well, we indeed meet at a deli. I repeatedly ask, "should I start now?" Finally, he gives me the go ahead. And just as I start in on my opener, the waiter comes over. He orders food. I order a lemonade.
I start again. I'm 2 minutes in and the lemonade comes. I press on. I manage to wrap it up before his sandwich comes. He smiles, he likes it. I can work delis!
So now me and the director are a team, along with the production company. Now we have to go to the networks and pitch the show together. They felt it was possibly right for NBC, ABC, and Fox, so that's where we went with it. The pitches went fine. I did my song and dance, they asked really good questions, and that was that.
All three networks passed.
But, that's not the end of things. Because the production company has to pay me! Yay! And also, this now reverts to a blind script deal. So I pretty much have to come up with something and try to sell it again and write a script, etc. Nothing is over until we say it's over!
In the mean time, they made me pitch the same show to the cable arm of their company. And the cable arm liked the idea and wanted to pitch it to the cable world. With one caveat: they wanted me to pitch it as a half hour.
At first I was happy with this. After all, I had put a lot of work in on the idea. But as I was converting it to a half hour "comedy", I realized this sucked. Why? Because kinda the whole point of the show idea was to do a big network version of an idea that normally only exists on cable. Transferring it to cable made it seem like a lame version of a cable show.
On the other hand, I'd love to have my own show on cable so what the hell am I complaining about?
So that's where I'm at. I'm gonna do my song and dance again and see what happens. If there's no takers, I can go back to trying to do a network show with them. It's really all good, but I'd love to be able to get past the pitch stage and start the annoying notes stage. If only I could do these network pitches at a deli.