Ben the Bachelor No One Wanted, After the Final Rose

Great start: Chris says "you just watched Ben do what millions of Americans hoped he would not do". And then "did Ben already have an affair with another woman as a tabloid has supposedly proven?" Oooh, I like the sound of that.

Ben comes out, and his hair is even stupider now. Chris grills him about watching Courtney on TV. Ben sort of excuses her behavior, and says he wished that she had been more gracious.

Finally, he says watching her made them breakup. The audiences GASPS, it's really funny. He says they didn't talk for weeks. But I'm pretty sure he's saying this just to look better because he was having sex with other girls.

Ben: "On my father's grave, I haven't kissed another woman". Those are my friends from San Francisco. Really?


I wonder how his dead dad is feeling right about now.

We go to commercial and then Courtney comes out. She says they were happy for a month until the show started airing. Ben didn't even send her a card or flowers for Valentine's Day.

Courtney says that Ben abandoned her. Marriage means something to her, and she wanted this to work. Chris asks if they're still a couple and she says yes. Then "I think so". Then she starts crying. I think she's trying to get America on her side and make Ben look like the dick. "This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through".

Ben comes out and joins her. He says they're in a good place and engaged.

Chris: "Ben when the going got tough, you split. Why?" Ben agrees with that assessment. He says it was hard because he's a no drama person and so is she. The crowd laughs.

The way Chris is framing these questions, it sounds like he's trying to fuck Courtney.

Courtney says that she doesn't fully trust Ben yet. They both say the problem was not being able to be together, so that's what they need. Yeah, I'm sure that's gonna help. It's always worked with all of the other Bachelors and their fiances who are no longer together.

They're putting on a brave face, but it seems pretty clear that this ain't working. I don't know if they're forced to do this or what, but I'm not buying it and neither is the studio audience or Chris.

I think this is what you do to try and salvage a season, and not completely alienate your audience.

By the way, if I was Ben I would be defending Courtney way more. I'd say Courtney was just really there for me, and she's honest to a fault, and she felt ganged up on, and she's not that person. He's doing none of that. Cause he sucks at everything.

It's sorta hard for me to believe that Ben wanted nothing to do with her just because of watching the show. Yes, Courtney was bad, but it couldn't have been that shocking for him. I mean, she's still the same person. I don't know, I think he just got famous from the show and wanted to have sex with people and got busted and used this whole "Courtney is evil" thing as an excuse.

For some unknown reason, Chris whips out the engagement ring. The audience GASPS again. Settle down, fat old ladies. Stop all the gasping.

No one tells us why Chris has that ring. But it is presented back to Courtney because Ben "very much" wants her to have it again.

The Bachelor producers scramble to show us something happy and positive by bring out Ashley and JP. Gross. The fact that they think Ashley is likeable should tell you something.

Ashley says she can relate to Courtney because people were really hard on her, "but not so much on JP". That's right, dummy. That's cause JP was cool. It should be noted if given the choice between Courtney and Ashley, I'd take Courtney in a freaking second.

Chris tells Ashley that being with JP "makes her look a lot smarter". Ha!

I forgot how much I hate Ashley, she just tries so hard to be cute.

And that's kinda it. The show goes out with a whimper. Such an odd choice to bring out those two to end it. No Lindzi? Who is making these decisions? That's bad television.

So there's your season, everyone. Courtney at least gave us something to talk about. You gotta give her that. Unlike Ben, she was somewhat entertaining so don't hate too much.

Next up: Emily the Bachelorette. See you then. Goodnight!