Before we get to the women telling all, we get a "where are they now?" segment about our favorite bachelor and bachelorette's of all time! Wait, I thought that was just called the Bachelor Pad. Ah, who cares? This is good shit...
For some reason, they're all in Vegas. It's for a reunion of some sort. Mickey and Cristina are hooking up, and no one remembers who Cristina is because she's from Andrew's season, and I think that happened in the '90's.
Nick, the formerly fake blonde personal train interviews to us, and he's the guy who reads the blog and emailed me! Hey Nick, how about a heads up next time?
Frog voiced Kasey is seen in a disgusting makeout session with someone named Lisa P who was in Brad's second season. No idea who she is, but she obviously has a thing for deaf idiots.
High energy/gay/water heater aficionado Ryan P is there and as annoying as ever. They're trying to convince us that all the ladies love him. It's kinda like how my aunt and uncle try to convince my family that their son who stutters and reads encyclopedias for leisure gets laid left and right.
Frank is here. Still gay as well. He reunites with Ali. Ali pretends that they still have "intense chemistry".
Erika shits on Ali and says she's not looking her best. As opposed to Erika, who is always looking her worst.
Huge shock: Michele Money wants another round on the Bachelor Pad. I guess that acting thing or that marrying rich athletes thing isn't going so well.
That ends, and we finally see the women from this season, and they all look pretty much the same. There's usually that one girl who darkens her hair and gets bangs, but these ladies haven't made any bad decisions, other than being on The Bachelor and liking Ben.
The first montage is actually pretty funny, because it's just all clips of girls calling Blakely a prostitute. Even better, they have a camera on Blakely as she watches it. Ah, a hooker with a heart of gold, guys.
I bet they all forgot that 3 episode arc at the beginning when Blakely was the Courtney.
Jaclyn is a disgusting MONSTER. Didn't she last like 5 episodes too? How insane is that?
That's how stupid Ben is, let us never forget that.
Jennifer looks fantastic. Fuck all the haters. I love her.
Sam the Sash is all kinds of fired up. She really hates Blakely. Blakely's defense? I'm older. Can't argue with that.
Yes! Brittney says she left because "there was no attraction whatsoever to Ben". Ha ha. You didn't hear anyone saying that about Brad.
Sam the Sash is out of her mind! Why is her mouth so awful?
Chris claims that "America is still buzzing" about Shawntel showing up in San Francisco. I don't know about America, but I think I know what Jaclyn is feeling about it...
Well, now Shawntel shows up here. Jesus, have some pride in yourself. This is really getting embarrassing. It's Ben!
Holy shit! I almost forgot that Jenna is sitting right there! They haven't even mentioned her at all. Which is insane because of all the crazies in the room right now, she is far and away the craziest.
Shawntel says "things are really good back in Chico". That sentence has never been uttered before ever.
Emily doesn't seem to understand why Ben got rid of her, and thinks it was all Courtney's fault. She's not recognizing that the mere fact that Ben loves Courtney and would listen to her at all should disqualify him as someone to go out with.
Emily says sex clouded Ben's mind. A guy was thinking about sex with a girl he's gonna potentially marry? Yuck.
Vegas odds had Kasey S at 500 to 1 odds of speaking 1 word or less tonight. She's on pace for that.
Nikki goes on the hot seat, then Kacie. Nothing exciting. It almost feels like the show should pull an audible. You want Ben and Courtney to come out here and say it was all a big mistake, answer all of the questions, and then Ben takes Kacie and Nikki into the final 2 and we see what happens. But hey, who wants to make this show interesting?
It seems like Kacie, Nikki, and Emily have formed a little girl club of Ben rejects. They love each other. That's not an awesome thing to have in common, guys.
While cutting to commercial, they have a shot of Courtney pacing backstage. This is becoming professional wrestling! I can't believe they didn't have Mean Gene Okerland interviewing her back there.
I guess they're pulling a bit of an audible, they never bring back any of the final 2 girls to face the other ladies. And yet, here comes Courtney.
And the hate fest begins! While these girls had their differences earlier, they are now bonding over how much they despise Courtney. Hold the pohne! Chris says "I want to go to Kasey S...". Thus, forcing Kasey S to speak. And it's to defend Courtney. All of the other girls laugh at her.
At long last, Courtney comes out and says she's terrified. I would be too, the girls are frightening. Oh wait, that's just Jacyln's face.
Blakely: "Courtney, what did I ever do to you for you to call me a stripper?" Well, you dress like one, and oh, you actually are one.
Courtney is pretending to be all meek and humble and apologetic. She's making completely different faces than her normal mean/awesome/I'm better than everyone else faces that we are used to. She is playing a different character, it's amazing. Maybe she can have an acting career, after all.
At one point, the girls start yelling at each other, and Courtney just looks at Chris like, "see? They're the crazy bitches, not me". How does she always know what to do?
Emily yells at Courtney and she just looks up at the sky with tears in her eyes. She is fucking fantastic.
Jenna speaks! And it's to yell at Courtney. Dammit. Why is Jenna not being recognized for the psychopath she truly is?
Courtney breaks down, "I take it all back". Oh Lord. Take the Oscar away from Meryl Streep right now. Or at least away from that chick in The Help, this performance is way better.
Slip of the tongue? Courtney says she "cared for Ben...and still do". Interesting.
Oh bummer, just as Courtney leaves and the show should be over, Ben comes out. He looks as stupid as ever. Jennifer jumps in to ask him a question, and somehow shits on Blakely way worse than Courtney ever did. She goes "you picked Blakely over me, I mean, you were going to take her home to meet your mom?"
I hate the questions they're asking him. They should all just be mocking his choices and saying "don't you feel stupid now".
Ben almost flat out admits that after watching the show he realized he fucked up.
Jamie: "a lot of times it doesn't work out with whoever you choose and I still think you're fabulous". Everyone here knows that it's already over!!! This is unprecedented.
They preview the finale. And then, in the credits, the credits! they mention crazy ass Jenna. What a disgrace. You're telling me that in 2 hours of show you couldn't fit Jenna in? We learn nothing about her insanity.
Next week, this ends. Hallelujah. Goodnight!
12 comments:
You made a note that Ryan could be gay..Oddly funny isnt it that Ryan and AMES were both at the after event party? I'm pretty sure Ames and Ryan had a Fantasy suite together that night.
Michele Money-Vienna- God will they both just go away!! people are tired of seeing this trash. I have zero respect for either of them. Money would do any show she could get, and screw any man to get the job. Whore in every way. Also she is what now 32? As Courtney would say "Money its game over". Also I read that cancer foundation she get 70% of all proceeds into her bank account..Yeah she is some 'good hearted soul" what a fake! She should stick to those high school drop out BasketBall players who just want to screw a MILF for the night.
Jaclyn- DISGUSTING! On a write up Shawtel Newton said she was the worse girl to her, calling her names..Shawntel said that stuff was 2 hours long and she ended up going in the bathroom to cry..The audacity of this hag Jaclyn! Ohh she lasted until episode 3 not episode 5! Cause she went home with Shawtel that night. How she made it past episode 1? My theory is the producers get 2-3 picks..they picked her and lesbo chick to stay around a few more times. My only explanation. Also i am skeptical on these womens true ages. I highly doubt Jacklin is 27..I'd guess closer to 35. Women lie about their age same as men do.
Love the line Brittney used! Classic! Her and Bentley were the two best contestants ever and most honest..both had zero physical attraction in the bachelor-ette.
Anyway this show is just so scripted and retarded anymore. So far from real life dating..its all a fantasy, and women get caught up in it.
I'm more into Sweet Home Alabama "you should do recaps for that show" Paige Duke is one HOTTY!! And so was season 1 Devon! Wow!The Bachelor tends to picks hags for the bachelorettes like Ashely and next probably Jacklyn. Also on Season 2 the 22 girls on there were nice!! Esp those southern gals..anyway that show is much better, and more 'real like' they go on real dates, things that us normal people can do..ie go fishing, take a boat on the lake, go horse ridding, take a walk in the countryside. And I heve never once in all 3 season seen the token choppy show up!! The bachelor they seem to have a choppy every date..do insane fear factor dates like climbs the Eiffel Tower, deep sea diving to find the Titanic and 2,000 M below sea level, swim-look for Jaws in the waters, eat disgusting crap like bull balls...It is indeed Fear Factor. Sorry but if some chick I just meet yesterday wanted me to impress her by eating cow nuts, or climbing the Empire State Building..Well Id be GONE!!
Brittney says she left because "there was no attraction whatsoever to Ben".
Loved it. Brittney must feel really smart right now. She's the only one that figured it out that it was all fluff after a couple episodes (and I'm not just talking about Ben's hair here either).
Oh, and I totally agree with you, Hack, about the questions they asked Ben. Those were so weak. I wanted someone to be like, "So, do you feel like a complete idiot now or what?" or "So, let's be real, you seriously didn't want to get a haircut after watching that?" or "Did the producers pay you to have no personality or is this truly a 'reality' show and what we see is what Courtney gets?" or even "So those pretend wedding vows didn't creep you out AT ALL?" Ewww.
They should have cut out all the replays of moments of the last four girls (we don't care) and harassed him for at least as long as they did Courtney. Only fair.
Last, I really wanted Jennifer to ask Ben what was up with him making out with her minutes before he got rid of her. Although in Bachelor filming maybe that was hours apart....but still not cool to mess with her like that!
Ooops...one more thing: Were all those people we saw in the Bachelor Pad clip actually cast in the next one? Ugh. I thought Reid was one of the down-to-earth ones until I saw him shown. And when Ali says she thought that spending some time with her old friends on the Bachelor would be a nice change and a good way to move on from her breakup, I thought, Ummm...this is your THIRD Bachelor-related show. Could you get a real job maybe?? She's been drinking the producers koolaid, fer sure.
Is ABC just saying "screw it" to the whole season and admitting that he chose Courtney and letting her try to save face?
I've also read that Ben's stopped talking to her all together. Tabloids are always reliable, so I know it's true. Perhaps ABC's setting up another break-up for the After the Final Rose show. That has the potential to be the most interesting thing all season, but I'm sure Ben will find a way to dull it up.
The part I loved was when Courtney said, "They don't give you a handbook on how to behave on the Bachelor." Um, how about acting nice, like ya should in REAL LIFE, woman?
--Peej
Sorry all... I like Courtney.
I think that she’s immature (especially in dealing with people), has always had her defense mechanisms up (being young and beautiful), and can be arrogant...
but, she’s also young and learning life lessons. It sounds like the life lesson she learned on the Bachelor came at a tough price for both her and her family. I don’t think that she’s the same young girl that she was at the beginning of this show.
Eventually, she’s going to make someone a darn good woman, she has a lot to offer once she matures.
Either that, or she does deserve Meryl’s academy award.
Great recap, Hack!
Wow zorro. You are so clueless. It's kind of cute
Courtney has the "it" factor, and I therefore see a lot of potential. Who knows how she'll turn out… none of us.
If she continues her arrogant and insensitive ways, then shame on her. If she matures and changes her attitude, then the guy that ends up with her will be a lucky guy… in my opinion.
It's all about the "it" factor…. not a high percentage of women have the "it" factor (none other that I see on this episode).
Maybe I just like my tacos spicy, dunno.
Cute and clueless...
@Zorro
I kind of sort of see where your coming from on Courtney. I think she was put on the show as a paid actor and did develop feelings for Ben along the way. Will it work long term..Id say changes are better on winning 2 bucks on a dollar scratch off then that going anywhere.
@ Kat- On the Bachelor pad. It tends to attract trashy people that want Hollywood fame but are delusional. We've seen Jake 3 times dont forget (Julians season, his and BP2) He he tring to get into Hollywood and even applied for low budget films and was rejected. Also Gia was on 3 bachelor shows. Im sure also Ames will try to get some gig..Look at his Twitter..guy is a egomaniac. All photos with him photoshopped..guy has 100s and find me 1 pic with him not in it.
I wish most these people would just go away..They had their 15 minutes and most of us could care less 'where they are now' Most of us already know where they are..hanging at in Hollywood or Vegas tring to get the next gig, or sleazing it up at a night club somewhere.
I swear to God if any of these people listed are on the 3rd edition of BP I will refuse to watch it!
1. Vienna
2. Jake
3. Ames
4. Ali
5. Ben
6. Michelle Money
Can these people just fade away?
Zorro, Courtney is 28 (and that is her official age - wouldn't be surprised if she shaved off a few years and is actually older). Her behavior is something you'd expect from someone in high school, not someone pushing 30. "Youth" is not an excuse here.
Lol@28... Trust me, when you're in your 40's then 28 will seem like high school to you. Courtney will change many times in the next 15 years, you will too.
Youth is an excuse here.
I kind of get Zorro. I couldn't stand Courtney until all the other women were gone and she didn't have to deal with them anymore. Then she was... dare I say it... likeable.
"things are really good back in Chico". That sentence has never been uttered before ever.
Lolz, so true. Even she sort of laughed when she said it. They definitely went way to easy on Ben. Can't wait for After the Final Rose where I'm sure history will be totally rewritten.
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