Warner Bros is negotiating to acquire Get Hard, a comedy pitch package that will be developed as a star vehicle for Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.
The plan is for Ferrell to play a rich, soft-handed investment bank manager is sentenced to a maximum security prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He hires the streetwise guy who normally washes his car to get him ready to do hard time in the 30 days before he has to report to prison.
Seriously? I give up.Why am I killing myself trying to come up with original ideas? Black guys helping white guys do criminal stuff! That's all you need! That's the only idea there is so I should just stick with it.
You may remember last year's "Tower Heist" (or maybe you don't). A big budget comedy. Some ordinary folks want to rob from the Bernie Madoff type guy who ripped them off. Only one problem: they don't know how to steal. So who do they enlist to help them? Eddie Murphy, the black guy. He knows how to steal.
Or how about "Horrible Bosses". Three white guys want to enact revenge on their horrible bosses by murdering them. Only one problem: they are white. They don't know how to murder. Who do they enlist to help them? Jamie Foxx, the black guy, who becomes their "murder consultant".
But really, I am ignoring the even bigger elephant in the room. A movie called "Big Stan". Starring Rob Schneider. The logline:
A rich, soft-handed real estate con artist is sentenced to a maximum security prison. He hires a guy to get him ready to do hard time before he has to report to prison.
In fairness, the movie came out in 2007, and that's like a million years ago. I'm sure the comedy writers who pitched this have never heard of it.
SERIOUSLY
Fuck this shit.
8 comments:
That's pretty inexcusable. At the very least they could've added zombies.
BLACK DEATH: When a rich, soft-handed pediatrician is sentenced to a join the ranks of the undead, he hires a black gangbanger to get him ready to pop a cap in a dead muthafucka's ass, yo.
that will sell in about 2 seconds.
That Tower Heist movie was the fucking worst. There wasn't one actual joke in the whole movie. Will Farrell can't keep making terrible movies forever without people eventually noticing, can he?
Wouldn't it be a lot more interesting if the Hart played the investment banker and Ferrell was the streetwise guy?
Your blog makes me SO happy... and sad. But the way you make sad things HILARIOUS makes me so happy.
It is my dream to someday be friends with you. lol! ...though perhaps that might ruin the magic. :-P
Christy Boyer should have sex with you, seriously.
Big Stan is really terrible, I mean, really, really terrible... but he doesn't hire a black guy, he hires David Carradine...
Ashley, I'm sure I would disappoint you. But I've never been accused of having "magic" before, so thank you!
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