I went on a Grouper tonight.
Oh, you don't know what a grouper is? You must be living in the aughts, old timers. A Grouper is where you sign up to this website, and then some fancy algorithms look at your facebook page, and then match you up with a girl's facebook page for a blind date.
Ah, but that's not what a Grouper is. There's more. Then, you invite two of your friends, and the girl invites two of her friends, and the SIX of you go out - to a bar chosen by Grouper - for an awkward drink.
I was not the main guy in this equation. No algorithms were done on my facebook page. I was one of the "friends". Still, I was in it along with everyone else.
On the surface, this seemed like a horrible idea. I mean, I like to be attracted to people. Call me crazy, but there aren't any algorithms that know what gives me an erection. This was completely blind. So I had my doubts, because I like to see what I'm getting in to.
Also, can you really tell a lot from someone's facebook page? Maybe. But I think the only thing you can tell from my facebook page is that I don't go on it. And that I like Sporcle and R. Kelly, not necessarily in that order.
Anyway, what I was picturing for this grouper was me showing up, and immediately knowing that none of the three girls were for me. Then an hour of forced, polite conversation before a delicate call for the check.
And that's exactly what happened.
Well, not exactly. Cause it actually last 3 hours. That delicate call for the check was a little too delicate, and these ladies kept ordering more drinks.
Even more awkward, about 30 minutes into it ANOTHER Grouper group showed up...and there's had better looking women. But apparently, there's no swapping on Grouper. You kinda think there would be. It's that name, Grouper. Makes me think of orgies for some reason. Alas, no dice.
And this is my life now.