TWO DAYS AGO...
Picture me on my couch. In sweatpants. Alone. Computer at my side. I'm writing. A DVR'd episode of "The Americans" playing on my TV.
Tweets pop up on my screen, as I've ordered them to do. I see one from Steve Martin. It's about Joel McHale, a guy I used to share an office with. I guess they're hanging out somewhere. Having a grand ol' time, palling around. And I think, "Man, Joel sure is lucky. He gets to hang out with Steve Motherfucking Martin. Damn."
TWO WEEKS AGO
I'm on the couch. In sweatpants. Alone. Computer at my side. I'm writing. The TV is on.
An Instant Message pops up on my screen. It's from a friend. She is in publicity, and sorta in charge of an awards show. She's IMing me because they don't have a host for the show and she is panicked. They keep getting turned down.
She wants to know if I know any celebrities that might be able to do it. I think for a moment, indeed there is. I write to her. "Joel McHale. He hosts tons of stuff, is great at it, he'd be perfect".
She thinks that is a wonderful idea. She profusely thanks me. The next day she calls me - "You're a genius! We talked to Joel's people! He's in! Thank you!!!"
TWO DAYS AGO
As I'm reading the tweets of Steve Martin, I realize he's at an awards show with Joel. Wait a minute! It's that awards show! The one I told my friend to get Joel for.
I'm on the couch. In sweatpants. Alone. Computer at my side. TV is on. I'm typing this blog. And I've never palled around with Steve Martin.